Handouts:

Handout 1Print Handout 1

Watch Your Thoughts

Watch your thoughts;
They become your words.

Watch your words;
They become your actions.

Watch your actions;
They become your habits.

Watch your habits;
They become your character.

Watch your character,
For it becomes your destiny.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?

Hillel, ancient scholar

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Personality Styles

Attachment Two

Lesson One: Who Am I Today?

Personality Styles

In 1984, John Oldham M.D. began work on a personality system comprised of sixteen styles for normally healthy people, each exerting a certain influence over us. Some styles play heavily in our personality while others are virtually non-existent. Everyone has one style that is predominant (the basic style). In most people, there is one basic style with about two to five supporting styles, and the rest of the styles play a moderate to zero influence.

http://www.geocities.com/lifexplore/oldham.htm

Each of the sixteen personality styles is described on the succeeding pages. Characteristics, Basic Desire/Pleasure and Basic Fear/Distress for each style are included.

Personality Styles

Adventurous
Description: Throw caution to the winds -- here comes the Adventurer. Who but Adventurers would have taken those long leaps for mankind -- crossed the oceans, broken the sound barrier, walked on the moon? The men and women with this personality style venture where most mortals fear to tread. They are not bound by the same terrors and worries that limit most of us. They live on the edge, challenging boundaries and restrictions, pitting themselves for better or for worse in a thrilling game against their own mortality. No risk, no reward, they say. Indeed, for people with the Adventurous personality style, the risk is the reward.

Characteristics:

• Nonconformity. Men and women who have the Adventurous personality style live by their own internal code of values. They are not strongly influenced by other people or by the norms of society.
• Challenge. To live is to dare. Adventurers love the thrill of risk and routinely engage in high-risk activities.
• Mutual independence. They do not worry too much about others, for they expect each human being to be responsible for him/herself.
• Persuasiveness. They are silver-tongued, gifted in the gentle art of winning friends and influencing people.
• Wanderlust. They love to keep moving. They settle down only to have the urge to pick up and go, explore, move out, move on. They do not worry about finding work, and live well by their talents, skills, ingenuity and wits.
• Wild oats. In their childhood and adolescence, people with the Adventurous personality style were usually high-spirited hell-raisers and mischief makers.
• True grit. They are courageous, physically bold, and tough. They will stand up to anyone who dares to take advantage of them.
• No regrets. Adventurers live in the present. They do not feel guilty about the past or anxious about the future. Life is meant to be experienced now .

Basic Desire/Pleasure: adventure Basic Fear/Distress: routine

Aggressive
Description: Who's the boss? The Aggressive type, of course. While others may aspire to leadership, Aggressive men and women move instinctively to the helm. They are born to assume command as surely as is the top dog in their pack. Theirs is a strong, forceful personality style, more inherently powerful than any of the others. They can undertake huge responsibilities without fear of failure. They wield power with ease. They never back away from a fight. They compete with the supreme confidence of champions. How these individuals use the power that seems always at their fingertips depends on other styles in their patterns. When put to the service of a greater good, the Aggressive personality style can inspire a man or woman to great leadership, especially in times of crisis.

Characteristics:

• Command. Aggressive individuals take charge. They are comfortable with power, authority and responsibility.
• Hierarchy. They operate best within a traditional power structure where everyone knows his or her place and the lines of authority are clear.
• Tight ship. They are highly disciplined and impose rules of order that they expect others in their charge to follow.
• Expedience. Aggressive men and women are highly goal-directed. They take a practical, pragmatic approach to accomplishing their objectives. They do what is necessary to get the job done.
• Guts. They are neither squeamish nor fainthearted. They can function well and bravely in difficult and dangerous situations without being distracted by fear or horror.
• The rough-and-tumble. Aggressive people like action and adventure. They are physically assertive and often participate in or enjoy playing competitive sports, especially contact sports.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: power Basic Fear/Distress: submitting

Artistic
Description: Mood swings. Shifts from a moderately upbeat, outgoing, creative character to a withdrawn and sullen depressive one. When in a high state, they can be highly productive, original, humorous and engaging. During a low state they become self-absorbed, pessimistic and apathetic. The mood swings happen regularly in cycles.

Characteristics:

• Mood swings. Those of the Artistic temperament tend to experience a greater range of emotion than those of any other type. They are highly emotional.
• Artistic inclinations. The Artistic type is the most inclined of all the types to be involved with the fine arts, music or literature. They take an artistic approach to all aspects of their lives.
• Independent work. The Artistic type spends a great deal of time alone.
• Relationships secondary. Those of the Artistic temperament are quite likely to choose relationships which will further their work rather than relationships which are intrinsically rewarding, and their relatives may find that family relations take second place.
• Great productivity. Persons of the Artistic type are highly disciplined, gifted with superior powers of concentration, and capable of producing great quantities of high quality work; they also enjoy frequent periods of recreation and inactivity.
• Keen perceptions. The Artistic temperament is especially attuned to color, line, texture, shading - touch, motion, seeing and hearing in harmony. The senses of Artistic individuals seem more keenly tuned than those of others.
• Kindness. Although those of the Artistic type may adopt an aggressive, tough exterior, they are remarkably gentle, kind and generous.
• Extroversion and introversion. The interpersonal conduct of those of the Artistic type alternates between the greatest extremes of sociability and being socially uncommunicative.
• Love of nature. In many individuals of the Artistic type there may be found an instinctive longing for the natural, the pastoral, rural living. They are quite at home in the wilds and nature seems to welcome them.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: creativity Basic Fear/Distress: being unable to create

Conscientious
Description: Conscientious-style people are the men and women of strong moral principle and absolute certainty, and they won't rest until the job is done and done right. They are loyal to their families, their causes and their superiors. Hard work is a hallmark of this personality style. Conscientious types achieve . The Conscientious flourishes where the work ethic thrives.

Characteristics:

• Hard work. The Conscientious person is dedicated to work, works very hard and is capable of intense, single-minded effort.
• The right thing. To be Conscientious is to be a person of conscience. These are men and women of strong moral principles and values. Opinions and beliefs on any subject are rarely held lightly. Conscientious individuals want to do the right thing.
• The right way. Everything must be done “right,” and the Conscientious person has a clear understanding of what that means, from the correct way to balance the checkbook, to the best strategy to achieve the boss's objectives, to how to fit every single dirty dish into the dishwasher.
• Perfectionism. The Conscientious person likes all tasks and projects to be complete to the final detail, without even minor flaws.
• Perseverance. They stick to their convictions and opinions. Opposition only serves to strengthen their dogged determination.
• Order and detail. Conscientious people like the appearance of orderliness and tidiness. They are good organizers, catalogers and list makers. No detail is too small for Conscientious consideration.
• Prudence. Thrifty, careful and cautious in all areas of their lives, Conscientious individuals do not give in to reckless abandon or wild excess.
• Accumulation. A “pack rat,” the Conscientious person saves and collects things, reluctant to discard anything that has, formerly had or someday may have value for him or her.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: perfection Basic Fear/Distress: imperfection

Devoted
Description: Devoted types care , and that's what makes their lives worth living. You won't find anyone more loving, more solicitous of you, more concerned for your needs and feelings or for those of a group as a whole. At their best, individuals with this style are loyal, considerate, ever-so-helpful players on the team. Their needs are those of the group or of its leader, and their happiness comes from the fulfillment of others' directives and goals. Devoted people are the ones who tell you, “I'm happy if you're happy” − and mean it. The Devoted style is common in our society, and it occurs among both men and women.

Characteristics:

• Commitment. Individuals with the Devoted personality style are thoroughly dedicated to the relationships in their lives. They place the highest value on sustained relationships; they respect the institution of marriage as well as unofficial avowals of commitment; and they work hard to keep their relationships together.
• Togetherness. They prefer the company of one or more people to being alone.
• Teamwork. People with this personality style would rather follow than lead. They are cooperative and respectful of authority and institutions. They easily rely on others and take direction well.
• Deference. When making decisions, they are happy to seek out others' opinions and to follow their advice.
• Harmony. Devoted individuals are careful to promote good feelings between themselves and the important people in their lives. To promote harmony, they tend to be polite, agreeable and tactful.
• Consideration. They are thoughtful of others and good at pleasing them. Devoted people will endure personal discomfort to do a good turn for the key people in their lives.
• Attachment. Relationships provide life's meaning for this personality style. Even after a painful loss of someone around whom their life was centered, they are able to form new meaningful bonds.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: being taken care of Basic Fear/Distress: having to act independently

Dramatic
Description: Dramatic types are all heart. They have been granted the gift of feeling, with which they color the lives of everyone around them. When possessed of great talent, Dramatic men and women can transform human emotion into the highest art form. Even in their daily lives, their wit, their laughter, their sense of beauty and their flamboyance can lift the spirits of a roomful of strangers. “All the world's a stage” for individuals with this very common personality style. Life is never dull or boring for them and certainly not for those who share it with them. Dramatic people fill their world with excitement; things happen in their lives.

Characteristics:

• Feelings. Dramatic men and women live in an emotional world. They are sensation oriented, emotionally demonstrative and affectionate. They react emotionally to events and can shift quickly from mood to mood.
• Color. They experience life vividly and expansively. They have rich imaginations, they tell entertaining stories and they are drawn to romance and melodrama.
• Attention. Dramatic people like to be seen and noticed. They are often the center of attention, and they rise to the occasion when all eyes are on them.
• Appearance. They pay a lot of attention to grooming, and they enjoy clothes, style and fashion.
• The spirit is willing. People with Dramatic personality style eagerly respond to new ideas and suggestions from others.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: attention Basic Fear/Distress: being ignored

Idiosyncratic
Description: Idiosyncratic men and women are not like anyone else. They are dreamers, seekers of the spirit, visionaries and mystics. They march to a distinctive beat, different from the conventional rhythms that most people follow. They are true originals and often they stand out, sometimes as eccentrics, sometimes as geniuses.

Characteristics:

• Inner life. Idiosyncratic individuals are tuned in to and sustained by their own feelings and belief systems, whether or not others accept or understand their particular worldview or approach to life.
• Own world. They are self-directed and independent, requiring few close relationships.
• Own thing. Oblivious to convention, Idiosyncratic individuals create interesting, unusual, often eccentric lifestyles.
• Expanded reality. Open to anything, they are interested in the occult, the extrasensory and the supernatural.
• Metaphysics. They are drawn to abstract and speculative thinking.
• Outward view. Though they are inner-directed and follow their own hearts and minds, Idiosyncratic men and women are keen observers of others, particularly sensitive to how other people react to them.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: non-conformity Basic Fear/Distress: conformity

Inventive
Description: The basic trait of the Inventive personality type is the seeking of social status through achievements of the intellect and imagination.

Characteristics:

• Idealized self-image. Individuals of the Inventive type develop highly idealized images of themselves with which they identify.
• Subdued demeanor. Persons of the Inventive type are energetic, but cold or indifferent. They can be quiet, rather private, subdued in demeanor and have artistic interests.
• Attention. Individuals of the Inventive type have a tendency to behave in such a way as to attract attention. They can be subtle show-offs, but show-offs nonetheless.
• Openness to culture. The Inventive person has unusual thought processes, values intellectual matters and judges in unconventional terms. He or she has a wide range of interests.
• Intelligence. Intelligence will typically be emphasized in their self-images and social dealings. They put great stock in their ideas and demand that others do likewise.
• Competence. The faith of those of the Inventive type is in their ability to improvise something. Their focus is on competent excellence in performance.
• Innovation. The Inventive type maintains an independent view and is the most reluctant of all the types to do things in a particular manner just because that is the way things always have been done. They are inventors and innovators.
• Cleverness. They are mentally bright and quick-witted. For those of the Inventive type to be taken in, to be manipulated by another, is humiliating; this offends their joy in being masters of the art of one-upmanship.
• Status. They are highly competitive in pursuit of success and prestige. They want very much to be outstanding in some way, to gain recognition, even fame and glory.
• Self-consciousness. Persons of the Inventive type look to others for approval. They are very conscious of how others treat them and highly sensitive to criticism and negative evaluation.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: recognition Basic Fear/Distress: obscurity

Leisurely
Description: Free to be me − no one can take away this right from a person who has a Leisurely personality style. These men and women play by the rules and fulfill their responsibilities and obligations. But once they've put in their time, they will let no one deprive them of their personal pursuit of happiness, for to them this is what life is all about. What's important to them is not how they choose to enjoy themselves but that they are guaranteed this opportunity. If threatened, these normally easy-going individuals will vigorously defend their fundamental right to do their “own thing.”

Characteristics:

• Inalienable rights. Leisurely types believe in their right to enjoy themselves on their own terms in their own time. They value and protect their comfort, free time and individual pursuit of happiness.
• Enough is enough. They agree to play by the rules. They deliver what is expected of them and no more. They expect others to recognize and respect that limit.
• The right to resist. Leisurely individuals cannot be exploited. They can comfortably resist acceding to demands that they deem unreasonable or above and beyond the call of duty.
• Mañana. Leisurely types are relaxed about time. They are not obsessed by time urgency or the demands of the clock. To these individuals, haste makes waste and unnecessary anxiety. They are easygoing and optimistic that whatever needs to get done will get done, eventually.
• I'm okay. They are not awed by authority. They accept themselves and their approach to life.
• Wheel of fortune. Leisurely people believe that they are just as good as everyone else and as entitled to the best things in life. They maintain that blind luck often accounts for who fares well and who fares poorly.
• Mixed feelings. Although they feel impelled to proceed in their own direction, when their choices put them in conflict with the people they care for, Leisurely people are often of two minds about how to proceed. They do not like to risk important relationships, yet they need to feel free.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: freedom to do as one pleases Basic Fear/Distress: compulsory activity

Mercurial
Description: Life is a roller coaster for those with the Mercurial personality style -- and they'll insist you come along for the ride. From the peaks to the valleys, intensity imbues their every breath. Mercurial women and men yearn for experience, and they jump into a new love or a new lifestyle with both feet, without even a glance backward. No other style, the Dramatic included, is so ardent in its desire to connect with life and with other people. And no other style is quite so capable of enduring the changes in emotional weather that such a fervidly lived life will bring.

Characteristics:

• Romantic attachment. Mercurial individuals must always be deeply involved in a romantic relationship with one person.
• Intensity. They experience a passionate, focused attachment in all their relationships. Nothing that goes on between them and other people is trivial, nothing taken lightly.
• Heart. They show what they feel. They are emotionally active and reactive. Mercurial types put their hearts into everything.
• Unconstraint. They are uninhibited, spontaneous, fun-loving and undaunted by risk.
• Activity. Energy marks the Mercurial style. These individuals are lively, creative busy and engaging. They show initiative and can stir others to activity.
• Open mind. They are imaginative and curious, willing to experience and experiment with other cultures, roles and value systems and to follow new paths.
• Alternate states. People with Mercurial style are skilled at distancing or distracting themselves from reality when it is painful or harsh.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: relationship Basic Fear/Distress: being alone

Self-Confident
Description: Self-Confident individuals stand out. They're the leaders, the shining lights, the attention-getters in their public or private spheres. Theirs is a star quality born of self-regard, self-respect, self-certainty − all those self words that denote a faith in oneself and a commitment to one's self-styled purpose. Combined with the ambition that marks this style, that magical self-regard can transform idle dreams into real accomplishment. The Self-Confident personality style is one of the two most goal-directed of the styles (the other is the Aggressive style). Self-Confident men and women know what they want, and they get it. Many of them have the charisma to attract plenty of others to their goals. They are extroverted and intensely political. They know how to work the crowd, how to motivate it and how to lead it.

Characteristics:

• Self-regard. Self-Confident individuals believe in themselves and in their abilities. They have no doubt that they are unique and special and that there is a reason for their being on this planet.
• The red carpet. They expect others to treat them well at all times.
• Ambition. Self-Confident people are unabashedly open about their aspirations and possibilities.
• Politics. They are able to take advantage of the strengths and abilities of other people in order to achieve their goals, and they are shrewd in their dealings with others.
• Competition. They are able competitors, they love getting to the top and they enjoy staying there.
• Stature. They identify with people of high rank and status.
• Dreams. Self-Confident individuals are able to visualize themselves as the hero, the star, the best in their role or the most accomplished in their field.
• Self-awareness. These individuals have a keen awareness of their thoughts and feelings and their overall inner state of being.
• Poise. People with the Self-Confident personality style accept compliments, praise and admiration gracefully and with self-possession.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: admiration Basic Fear/Distress: being seen as common

Self-Sacrificing
Description: To live is to serve; to love is to give. These are axioms for individuals who have the Self-Sacrificing personality style. The way they see it, their needs can wait until others are well-served. Knowing that they have given of themselves, they feel comfortable and at peace, secure with their place in the scheme of things. At its best and most noble, this is the selfless, magnanimous personality style of which saints and good citizens are made.

Characteristics:

• Generosity. Individuals with the Self-Sacrificing personality style will give you the shirts off their backs if you need them. They do not wait to be asked.
• Service. Their “prime directive” is to be helpful to others. Out of deference to others, they are noncompetitive and unambitious, comfortable coming second, even last.
• Consideration. Self-Sacrificing people are always considerate in their dealings with others. They are ethical, honest and trustworthy.
• Acceptance. They are nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' foibles and never harshly reproving. They'll stick with you through thick and thin.
• Humility. They are neither boastful nor proud, and they're uncomfortable being fussed over. Self-Sacrificing men and women do not like being the center of attention; they are uneasy in the limelight.
• Endurance. They are long-suffering. They prefer to shoulder their own burdens in life. They have much patience and a high tolerance for discomfort.
• Artlessness. Self-Sacrificing individuals are rather naive and innocent. They are unaware of the often deep impact they make on other people's lives, and they tend never to suspect deviousness or underhanded motives in the people to whom they give so much of themselves.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: being needed Basic Fear/Distress: being unloved

Sensitive
Description: Sensitive people come into possession of their powers when their world is small and they know the people in it. For this commonly occurring personality style, familiarity breeds comfort, contentment and inspiration. These men and women − although they avoid a wide social network and shun celebrity − can achieve great recognition for their creativity. Nestled in an emotionally secure environment, with a few dear family members or friends, the Sensitive style's imagination and spirit of exploration know no bounds. With their minds, feelings and fantasies, Sensitive people find freedom.

Characteristics:

• Familiarity. Individuals with the Sensitive personality style prefer the known to the unknown. They are comfortable with, even inspired by, habit, repetition and routine.
• Concern. Sensitive individuals care deeply about what other people think of them.
• Circumspection. They behave with deliberate discretion in their dealings with others. They do not make hasty judgments or jump in before they know what is appropriate.
• Polite reserve. Socially they take care to maintain a courteous, self-restrained demeanor.
• Role. They function best in scripted settings, vocationally and socially: when they know precisely what is expected of them, how they are supposed to relate to others and what they are expected to say.
• Privacy. Sensitive men and women are not quick to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with others, even those they know well.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: acceptance Basic Fear/Distress: rejection

Serious
Description: Serious men and women suffer no illusions. They don't hitch their wagons to a star, count their chickens before they're hatched, sing that life is just a bowl of cherries, or don rose-colored glasses to paint their existence a more beguiling hue. Even when things are not so pleasant, they see them as they are. Of course, since the current culture favors individuals who “think positive,” look on the bright side and attempt to always improve themselves, somebody with a Serious style may not exactly fit the image. But Serious people don't expect to be popular. What they sacrifice in silver linings, they gain in ability to carry on in even the worst of circumstances. No other personality style is quite so able to endure when a harsh climate seems to descend on the planet. This is a no-frills, no-nonsense, just-do-it personality style, whose strength in hard times can help everyone survive.

Characteristics:

• Straight face. Individuals with the Serious personality style maintain a sober demeanor. They are solemn and not given to emotional expression.
• No pretentions. They are realistically aware of their own capabilities, but they are also aware of their own limitations; they are not tempted by vanity or self-importance.
• Accountability. Serious people hold themselves responsible for their actions. They will not soft-pedal their own faults and do not let themselves off the hook.
• Cogitation. They're thinkers, analyzers, evaluators, ruminators. They'll always play things over in their minds before they act.
• Nobody's fool. Serious personality style types are sharp appraisers of others. In their ability to critique other people, they are as unhesitating as in their own self-evaluation.
• No surprises. They anticipate problems and when the worst happens, they're prepared to deal with it.
• Contrition. Serious people suffer greatly when they realize they've been thoughtless or impolite to others.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: duty and responsibility Basic Fear/Distress: failing in duty or responsibility

Solitary
Description: Solitary men and women need no one but themselves. They are unmoved by the madding crowd, liberated from the drive to impress and to please. Solitary people are remarkably free of the emotions and involvements that distract so many others. What they may give up in terms of sentiment and intimacy, however, they may gain in clarity of vision. Left to their own devices, Solitary anthropologists, naturalists, mathematicians, physical scientists, filmmakers, writers and poets, can uncover and record the facts of our existence to which our passions so often blind us.

Characteristics:

• Solitude. Individuals with the Solitary personality style have small need of companionship and are most comfortable alone.
• Independence. They are self-contained and do not require interaction with others in order to enjoy their experiences or to get on in life.
• Sangfroid. Solitary men and women are even-tempered, calm, dispassionate, unsentimental and unflappable.
• Stoicism. They display an apparent indifference to pain and pleasure.
• Feet on the ground. They are not swayed by either praise or criticism and can confidently come to terms with their own behavior.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: solitude Basic Fear/Distress: intimacy

Vigilant
Description: Nothing escapes the notice of the men and women who have Vigilant personality style. These individuals possess an exceptional awareness of their environment. Call them Survivors. Their sensory antennae, continuously scanning the people and situations around them, alert them immediately to what is awry, out of place, dissonant or dangerous, especially in their dealings with other people. Vigilant types have a special kind of hearing. They are immediately aware of the mixed messages, the hidden motivations, the evasions and the subtlest distortions of the truth that elude or delude less gifted observers. With such a focus, Vigilant individuals naturally assume the roles of social critic, watchdog, ombudsman and crusader in their private or our public domain, ready to spring upon the improprieties − especially the abuses of power − that poison human affairs.

Characteristics:

• Autonomy. Vigilant-style individuals possess a resilient independence. They keep their own counsel, they require no outside reassurance or advice, they make decisions easily and they can take care of themselves.
• Caution. They are careful in their dealings with others, preferring to size up a person before entering into a relationship.
• Perceptiveness. They are good listeners, with an ear for subtlety, tone and multiple levels of communication.
• Self-defense. Individuals with Vigilant style are feisty and do not hesitate to stand up for themselves, especially when they are under attack.
• Alertness to criticism. They take criticism very seriously, without becoming intimidated.
• Fidelity. They place a high premium on fidelity and loyalty. They work hard to earn it and they never take it for granted.

Basic Desire/Pleasure: autonomy Basic Fear/Distress: subordination

Handout 3Print Handout 3

Essay Rubric

* This scoring guide is for the purpose of example. It may be used or modified to meet
the needs or desires of the teacher and the activity.

Philanthropy Framework: